It’s Time To Go Further. ARE YOU GOING TO?

Happy New Year’s Eve Kittens! I have to tell you, I am ending this year with more motivation and enthusiasm, TRUE ENTHUSIASM and confidence, than I have in several years. It’s a GREAT FEELING.
Yea, I’m bummed I can’t say, HEY It’s the last day of the year and I made all of my fitness goals a reality. But, I never quit. I learned IMPORTANT lessons that have changed me. I won’t look back. I won’t spend any more time whining about the past. It doesn’t deserve it.
What I do know is how much I DID DO THIS YEAR. I got OUT of my comfort zone. I did things I was terrified of doing internally. I got stronger- emotionally. That’s been a long time coming. I stopped DOUBTING MYSELF and letting FEAR of the bad “what ifs” impede my progress.
Stop worrying about what could happen if you fail. Start thinking more about how awesome it will be when you DON’T FAIL. When you crush it.
One little victory makes the next one that much easier, and then you create a snowball effect.

In the past- this was me. I kept waiting to quit my job that I hated until the PERFECT MOMENT came along- until I had some perfect amount of money in the bank, until I had the support of everyone, until I KNEW THAT EVERYTHING WOULD BE NON-PROBLEMATIC. That day will never happen. Sometimes you have to JUST DO IT. And with working out, fitness— I have done this too. Y’all know the past couple of years I kept researching – hoping to discover some elusive perfect diet and workout combo INSTEAD OF JUST DOING IT!!! Silly!!!!
I’m over that. Every day I’m now JUST DOING IT. Every day, every week, I’m making it better than the last. I get up when I fall down. I don’t fall down and then say screw it for the whole month. I’m better than that and my body deserves more than that.

Everything I’m sharing here (found on Pinterest of course!) is true in LIFE and in fitness. I’m so very proud of myself for 2011. And I’m so proud of myself in advance for what I’m about to do in 2012. Thank you God for my unlimited potential.
ARE YOU WITH ME?

I bought some awesome new tunes for my iPod. I’m READY. I want to know what your plan is. Progress? Or Excuses?? Follow me and my #FitFluential crew on Twitter and start to #livewellNOW.
A flashlight, for the next time you have to fight a bear. [Answering life's biggest question]
A scream: It’s not fair!
A surrender, a sigh: It’s not fair.
A realization: It’s not fair…
A cry: It. is. not. fair!
A complaint: It’s not faaaaiiiir.
An apology: It’s not fair.
A prayer; a whisper or a wail: It isn’t fair, Lord.
A question: It’s not fair?
This last one, the question, breaks my heart. It is too much to ask of me. How can I know the answer? My human heart cracks under the weight of betrayal. Of weakness. Of illness and pain and suffering and mockery. But this question deserves an answer. And my son, who looks up at me with liquid eyes, deserves an answer. “Mommy, why are some people born rich and others are born poor?” It’s not what I had expected from the child who’d been fighting over a ship built out of 4 Legos for the past hour. My other son answered him flippantly, most likely echoing something he’d heard me say, “Because life’s not fair.” Easy to say for someone who isn’t doing the suffering.
“It’s not fair?” he repeated to me.
Of course it isn’t. It never was. But I hate being the one tasked with educating these new little beings about the atrocities of life. (Just this morning I found myself explaining the death penalty to a 9-, 7-, and 5- year-old. I’d rather have the sex talk any day.) Someone has to tell them though. Eventually they’ll see a rerun of Kim Kardashian’s eleventy million dollar wedding and subsequent divorce 76 days later and realize that Star isn’t an astronomy magazine. For me that moment came in elementary school when I read The Diary of Anne Frank. I could not believe I lived in a world that would do that to a little girl. I was sick. I was livid. But most of all, I wanted off and I wanted my money back.
Twenty years later I’m still waiting on that refund but in the meantime it’s been a heck of a ride. I knew I had to answer the real question behind every iteration of “it’s not fair”: Why? Why am I sick when others are whole? Why does math come easy to him but not to me? Why do I have to exercise like a fiend and watch every bite I eat just to maintain “overweight” while she eats whatever she wants? Why do I want to throw up every time I see someone take their gloves off with their teeth because I have a weird aversion to teeth coming into contact with fabric? (Just me?) It’s horribly unfair.
Here’s what I told him:
1. It’s how we grow. Sure we can learn and grow from the good stuff in our lives but if we’re honest, it’s been the really really hard stuff that’s shaped us. I never would have started writing if I hadn’t been overwhelmed with my need to document my abusive relationship with my ex, taking back with my words what he’d stolen from me with his.
2. You can’t have empathy if you’ve never hurt. And if you don’t have empathy, you can’t have charity which in its purest form is the representation of all that is good in humankind. After battling IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and feeling like I swallowed glass for a year, I have nothing but respect and sympathy for people who deal with chronic pain on a daily basis.
3. Sometimes bad things just happen. I hate this answer but sometimes the best you can say is that you got through it and you hope it never happens again. I still don’t know what the point was in carrying a baby for so long only to have her die almost before she lived. What is the meaning of a life that only one person felt?
4. I don’t know. Right now I have two friends struggling with two very different but equally devastating life crises. Their stories are not mine to tell but I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to listen. And they have reminded me that sometimes listening is more important than any answer.
And so I listened to my son when several hours later he snuck up out of bed, pressed a wad of bills and change into my hand – his life savings – and said, “I want you to use my money to buy the poor kids food. Oh, and a flashlight, because they’ll need one if they ever have to fight a bear.”
It’s not fair. That I am the one who is supposed to teach them when they are the ones with all the wisdom.
I’m stocking up on flashlights, for the next time I have to fight a bear.
When did you realize that life is tragically unfair? What would you add to what I told my son? Anyone else have that phobia of chewing on cloth??
Time to let go of PERFECT.

Do you wonder what this post is about? Pretty simple.
The biggest thing I have learned about myself- about my biggest stumbling block or bad habit, whatever you want to call it- is that I have had a PERFECTION complex. In SO many ways.
Sometimes, recognizing something like this about yourself is the most important thing you can discover. Because quite often, as I believe it is in my case, this THING can be the primary WALL that is caging you in and limiting your success.
This can be true in SO many areas in life: Love, Work, Fitness, you name it.
This Perfection complex as I am labeling it, is what has kept me overly stressed out and full of anxiety for the past couple of years. (You’ve heard me call them my “Bracket Years” here on this blog, basically the majority of 2009 and 2010, right after my body met Ms. Peri Menopause) It’s left me treading water in my fitness journey, making no real progress other than in getting MORE worried and stressed out.
What does a perfection complex look like?
- Seeing your “flaws” as 1000000x worse than they are, and then making them more important than anything else.
- Assuming that, like a faulty microwave or dead laptop, the problem should be fixed immediately, at any cost.
- Believing that the ONLY way to achieve this is to move at 100MPH and be perfect in execution. In other words, perfect diet, perfect workouts, perfect weight loss.
- Aspiring to achieve perfection to match what is seen on TV or in magazines, even beyond what makes sense for my physical size/shape. (In other words, setting up as my goal to have a body like Jennifer Garner when her physique is the POLAR OPPOSITE of how I am made)
- Viewing every change or misstep as absolute failure and then overreacting and giving up for X amount of time, only to try something new a few days later in order to reach perfection FASTER than the last time.
- Focusing so hard on the negative and what I haven’t accomplished that I’ve never noticed what I have accomplished.
I found myself saying today that I was so bummed that this week I really wanted to do 6x a week of workouts and DANG I am so upset that I was sick…..blah blah blah.
In the past, I would have let this fact of life bum me out for several weeks. I would have obsessed about how far behind I was and felt the need to be more psycho on my diet come Monday.
LUDICROUS.
I’m still a work in progress but the big thing I’m proud of this year is recognizing this about myself. I’ve realized that there is no magic special date at which I MUST achieve perfection by or…or what? Or nothing!!! People— you might not think it but days become weeks very easily. And weeks become months and months become YEARS before you know it. It’s a damn shame I spent close to two years really missing out on a LOT in life because of this perfection complex.
Fitness is about LIFE. It’s not a report that’s due on Friday and so you can cram for it. It’s LIFE. I have to stop putting off LIFE until I think I’m perfect. I need to be more thankful for God creating me just as I am, whether or not this body has changed with life’s gift of perimenopause or not. I can handle it.
I can also stop trying to be perfect. Trying to become perfect. Trying to make my diet perfect and my workouts perfect. I can just do it. And stop swinging from one extreme to the other……I am finally seeing that I can just RELAX and just JOG my way there instead of trying to HIIT my way there.
You get what I mean right? I’ve been trying to sprint through this fitness journey instead of jogging where I can look around me and enjoy the view.
This is the year I finally started to slow down and see that, and understand why I’ve been frantically treading water the past couple of years. I’m sure I’ll be working on this for the rest of my life– changing this perfection complex I have…but I will tell you this….It sure feels different and better every day.
A change of attitude really can change your life.
How to Build a Better Immune System, One Fart at a Time [New Research!]

“Honey?” The other morning my darling husband rolled over in bed, looked me in straight in the eyes and with one hand on my cheek whispered, “Why don’t you ever get sick?! It’s not fair!!” Our pillow talk has really suffered since we’ve had children. While everything must be said in a whisper – they have a sex-0-meter so fine tuned that it still amazes me they have siblings – those whispers are usually more along the lines of “Why is it so hot here?!” than “Is it just me or is it hot in here? *wink wink*” (Gotta keep the thermostat up, see, since all our wee ones kick off their blankets off every five minutes and the last thing I need are little penguin toes wriggling into bed with me.) Considering that my husband was in the throes of a bad flu episode, I lovingly looked back at him and replied, “It’s all that healthy living crap I do, sucka! And no you can’t kiss me!”
Kidding. What I actually said was, “All those vegetables I eat, I guess? And no you can’t kiss me!” But it turns out that my great immune system may have less to do with my smug chia-swilling, Tabata-running ways and more with my gender. This week scientists discovered that some micro-RNA on the X chromosomes are partly responsible for silencing immunity genes. At first glance you’d think women would be worse off since we have the double X thing going on but apparently the micro-RNAs don’t gang up and so if one is doing it’s immunosuppressing thing then other one isn’t, leaving us healthier than our XY counterparts who only have one shot.
I have to admit that this natural health advantage pleases me. I’ve long been jealous of my husband’s ability to lose 10 pounds just by cutting out his nightly bowl of ice cream and how he can outlift me on the weight floor even though he only lifts on a bi-monthly basis. And a strong immune system is like the gold medal of health! And the grand prize is my very own flu shot! I win again! (Seriously am I competing on a cellular level now? I need help.)
Honestly though I do think there’s more to it than just my XX-iness. I’ve found that when I can stick to eating mostly healthy food, getting enough sleep and exercising (moderately, natch) that I get sick less often and when I am stricken, it’s much less severe than it seems to be for other people. When you live with 4 tiny disease carriers like I do, this is a big deal.
Using Food To Heal and Strengthen Your Immune System
Of course this whole immune system thing is a very delicate balancing act with many factors that affect how well you can ward off illnesses both small and serious. But science has shown that food is powerful medicine and there are particular foods that are known to help strengthen your immune system. And these foods may surprise you.
Sure fruits, vegetables, protein and anything not labeled “serving size: 1/4 pint” are known to help build healthy immune systems but the real power players are basically the whole category of foods known as “The ones that give you awful farts.” Beans, cruciferous veggies, cabbage and mushrooms are all great for your immune system, if not your social life. In addition, one of the best things you can do for your immune system is to support your gut by populating it with healthy bacteria, like the kind that come in fermented foods.
Think beyond yogurt though and learn to love sauerkraut, kefir and kimchi. (Apparently you can make your own fermented foods pretty easily but somehow I think it involves more than just putting a pile of cabbage in a jar to rot in your cabinet for 6 months. It’s on my list of things to try…sometime.) This works out well for me since I’ve adored sauerkraut since childhood when I used to sit on my mom’s lap and inhale an entire jar with her in one sitting. She’s of German descent. Sauerkraut (the kind with caraway seeds is the best!) and pickled beets are my comfort food. I think I was 20 before I realized that other people don’t love to sit down with a big bowl of kraut and a spoon every evening. I also love kefir but you have to be careful with the sweetened varieties since sugar is a known immunosuppressant.
So what’s your verdict: Do you get sick less often than most people and if so what’s your secret? Anyone else love farty foods but fear eating them unless you know for sure that you are staying in for the rest of the day? Anyone ever tried kimchi??
Crunch Time.
I guarantee you that someone will write me and say, “Wow Kelly your abs are SMOKIN” after I post this. Sometimes I am amazed that people watch my videos and would think I’m in any way close to THIS kind of buff-ness yet. But I gotta tell ya. I really WANT to be. I put an abs picture up because the title of tonight’s blog (Good Lord here I am posting at almost 11pm! DANG! Just got home from a dinner meeting…what can I say?) is “Crunch Time”. Why? It’s kind of the mantra going through my head right now. I’m thinking…here it is, September 1st, there are 4 months left in 2011 and I will be gosh-darned if I am gonna head into 2012 whining more about not reaching my weight loss goal.
It’s Crunch Time.
It’s TIME — and there are NO EXCUSES FOR ME— to put full force consistency and effort and focus into my weight loss and muscle building goals. Period. I am no longer traveling every week THANK GOD and so with being HOME and working for myself now, I can carve out that 90 minutes that I want to ensure I get my cardio and weights in. I can cook and eat at home and focus on variety and better planning, not winging it and eating whatever happens to be around that is remotely healthy just because I’m rushed.

I CAN. I WILL. Period.
Here is my ramble-on-a-thon from earlier today, and yes I ended up having a kick butt workout, squeezed in before my dinner meeting. I did Ilaria’s BodyStrikes DVD (I simply MUST have that woman become a FitFluential Ambassador for us….It must be. Watch me.) and burned 425 calories. WOOT!
And with that said, it’s time. Do you agree? It’s TIME. I don’t plan to go into the last quarter of the year “taking it easy”. No! It’s all about getting my freaking game face ON and doing the work that I need to do to chisel away 20lbs and then keep it off. I am SO PSYCHED. My life is just beginning and really- NO EXCUSES. NO WHINING. If you want to see change, BE THE CHANGE.
Question of the day: What is your most-hated workout move? I gotta tell you I hate mountain climbers and burpees. You?
It’s About Time.

Kids, here I am at BlogHer in San Diego. And here I am blogging to say that I’ve been swamped!! The conference grows bigger and bigger every year and it is amazing to see such talent all in one place. Overwhelmingly positive vibes.
Aunt Flo came out here with me and she MADE ME eat a cheeseburger two days in a row. Here’s something funny–I will never not love cheeseburgers but seriously, both times after eating these burgers (probably ate too fast and too much at a time) I had a seriously upset stomach. Bloated and in pain for most of the rest of that day. So not worth it. Food should be enjoyed and times like this remind me how important it is to SLOW DOWN, because if I was slowing down, and not allowing myself to get so “famished feeling”, I would RUSH THROUGH a yummy burger and eat more than my stomach could handle.
Today I started the day right with 2 scrambled eggs and a cup of oats. I have booth duty with my company from 12-2, then I’ll be walking the conference floor in the afternoon. I plan to come back to my room then and get in a solid workout- probably kickboxing and some TRX with some ValSlide action in there too.

I will tell you what. I am MISSING hot yoga. And when I have two days of no workout like the past two days, I MISS IT. I’m ready for some big exciting stuff this year, are you?? I met a woman on the plane that did her first triathalon and it was so cool to hear her talk about it, how she had the idea and JUST DID IT.

So, QUESTION OF THE DAY IS: What’s your big crazy dream or goal? When will you START?
Down Time is Good.

Good Morning Kittens!! How are you?
I’m feeling wonderful….vacation is just what I needed. NO schedule, no worrying about being back at the airport in two days, no “NEEDING” to do anything. And I have been getting my YOGA ON in a big way honey. See the crow pose above? I did it yesterday!!!
Ok, so I did it for about 2 seconds but still– Kelly, my BFF who has been practicing yoga for 10+ years now and teaches numerous classes per week– showed me a GREAT way to practice this pose and work UP to it using the block. I’m AMAZED at what a solid yoga teacher can do as far as adjusting you and making sure you are working a pose for the benefit of your body. Both Kelly and Bertha – the two teachers I’ve done classes with down here, both have fixed things in me and showed me some tendencies I have that I was totally unaware of- whoa.

These are the kind of poses that Kelly (not me, my BFF Kelly down here, don’t be confused) can do in her sleep. It’s awe inspiring to watch this woman. I am learning so much and certainly becoming more and more addicted to yoga.
We are off to yoga this morning, the past two days we’ve done hot yoga and today I’m going to Kelly’s class which is not hot yoga but another style– don’t worry, she said she’ll be on a vlog with me, we just haven’t had time, as we’ve been out and about.
I will tell you this, I’m working on getting Kelly to agree to participate in some of our future FitFluential events as we tour the country in 2012. She’s that amazing. For the record, yes, she also does weights but the majority of her “working out” is yoga. And I can tell you, at age — well, I won’t tell you her age and I’ll let you guess.
QUESTION OF THE DAY: Are you into yoga? Are you a regular or random student?
June’s Great CrossFit Experiment [For real this time]
Andrea may look tiny but girl can squat all 3 of us Gym Buddies put together. Plus she’s a mom of 1-year-old twins – if that doesn’t say strong, I don’t know what does!
Butt wink. Andrea (long A) from CrossFit St. Paul hadn’t even known me for 30 minutes when she first told me I had a butt wink. The first time she said it, I was at the very bottom of a below-parallel back squat (First thing you should know about CrossFit: it is not enough to get to parallel on a squat, they are so hardcore you must go beyond parallel to make sure it counts. Second thing you should know about CrossFit: it is all about the counting.) and did a double take. “What did you just say??”
“You have a butt wink,” she repeated, totally serious. Pulling Gym Buddies Megan and Allison over, she told me to do another squat. Right at the bottom of the move she clapped her hands, “See! Right there. She tucks her pelvis under just a little bit and loses the extension in her back.”
“Oh yes! Uh huh. I see it.” Megan and Allison chimed in as they all examined my butt that apparently winks. (And I’m not alone in my winkage either!)
It’s a bad thing in practice but it is a totally awesome word and I’m working it into a sentence at least twice a day now. It was also the perfect re-introduction to the workout religion that is CrossFit.
Back in year one of the Great Fitness Experiment, the Gym Buddies and I did a CrossFit Experiment. We were total noobs to weight lifting and so everything from the theory to the moves was brand new to us. We remedied this by watching endless videos on YouTube and the CrossFit site and roping in an ex-high school track competitor to teach us the Olympic lifts. We have never worked so hard during an Experiment as we did that month (our experience is detailed in my book) and while we were crazy toilet sore for pretty much the entire 30 days that was also the first time in my life I got a pull-up.
Four and a half years of Experiments later (I know!!), it remains in my top 3 favorite workouts. I was prompted to revisit this workout because Andrea and Mike, who own CrossFit St. Paul, offered to give us free introductory lessons and full use of their CrossFit gym. We have never done CrossFit in an actual CrossFit gym – something that makes a big difference. Most importantly for us we get Andrea to teach us the proper form for all the lifts – instruction we’ve never had before and desperately need. (When I showed her my clean she smiled “um, kinda sorta!”) Unfortunately since we have 14 kids between the 4 of us, we will not be able to travel 40 minutes to use their gym daily. So we will do our workouts at the Y, the place with childcare (dear child care staff: I LOVE YOU. MORE THAN CHOCOLATE.).
Me – concentrating realllly hard on not winking my butt. And also on not laughing about my winking butt. Seriously though – is this not awesome? I look so strong! Now if only there were plates on that bar….
What is CrossFit?
If you haven’t heard of CrossFit or have heard of it and been to scared to try it, it’s a combination of Olympic weight lifting, (mens) gymnastics and short cardio bursts organized into different high intensity circuits. Workouts are generally fairly short – under a half hour – and really hardcore. There will be no chatting, giggling or cartwheeling during the workout. There may possibly be puking. That’s my definition. The official site refuses to be so clearly defined: “Our program delivers a fitness that is, by design, broad, general, and inclusive. Our specialty is not specializing. Combat, survival, many sports, and life reward this kind of fitness and, on average, punish the specialist.” From my experience, it’s pretty punishing all around.
Who Does CrossFit?
This is not typically a question you ask before starting a workout but in this case it’s important. CrossFitters are a special breed of people – super competitive, very dedicated, no-frills and unbelievably, amazingly strong and fast. When we first walked into CrossFit St Paul there was a man doing standing box jumps… onto a box taller than I am. Like it was nothing! Says the site, “CrossFit is the principal strength and conditioning program for many police academies and tactical operations teams, military special operations units, champion martial artists, and hundreds of other elite and professional athletes worldwide.” Be still my heart. Who wouldn’t want to train like the military special ops??
How Do You Do It?
Every day a new “workout of the day” (WOD) is put up on CrossFit.com and this is what you will be doing. They do a 3 days on, 1 day rest schedule. If you go to a CrossFit gym they will likely have their own WODs but if you are following along at home, just check the site! At first when you look at their prescribed weight loads you will wet yourself laughing – that’s ok, you can always scale them down either by just doing what you know you can handle or by using one of the many sites out there that specialize in this. If you don’t know what an exercise is, look it up in the CrossFit library.
What Do You Need?
This is generally not a workout you can do at home unless you set up a special garage or basement gym (like my friend Tyler – we will be touring his CrossFit garage later this month!) as you need a variety of equipment including a pull-up bar, set of rings, parallel bars, boxes (for box jumps), an Olympic weight bar, rack and plates, climbing rope, kettlebells, jump ropes, and weighted balls. You will also need some place you can run with varying distances marked off (a high school track is perfect). I know it sounds like a lot but CrossFit gyms are usually no-frills kind of places. What you won’t see: machines of any kind, painted walls (unless it’s chalkboard paint to write the WOD on), fancy lockers, spas, mirrors or other creature comforts. Some of this equipment can subbed out (we use a towel thrown over the chin-up bar instead of a climbing rope) so if your gym doesn’t have gymnastics rings, don’t let that stop you from trying this!
What Else Do I Need to Know?
It’s very competitive. Every workout is either “for time” or “as many reps as possible (AMRAP)” or measured by weight loads. They key word here is “measured.” Ardent CrossFitters track all their times, weight loads and reps of the benchmark workouts (known for their funny names like “Fran” and “Fight gone bad”) and they will post them to the CrossFit boards. There is even a CrossFit Games every year that is
Weight gloves are for wusses as callouses are a badge of honor. (We wear them anyhow).
Many many CrossFitters are also avid Paleo/Primal eaters. I think they work so well together because the level of dedication and willpower required is very similar.
The CrossFit FAQ page is a gold mine. Any question you could possibly have – like what a butt wink is, say – is answered there.
Be aware that because you are handling such heavy loads and performing complex movements, this workout can be injury prone. Use a spotter, go lighter if you’re unsure and make sure you have good form.
Push yourself. This is your chance to open up and really see what you can do! It’s tough – I’m not going to lie to you – but you can do anything for 30 days!
Who’s crazy enough to try this with us this month? What do you think of CrossFit? Anyone else not know what a butt wink is either??
Check out this vid for the best explanation of CrossFit ever! (Warning for language)
Gluten-Free Labeling: Time for Action

Right now there are no set standards for the use of the term “gluten free” on food labels, despite that fact that four years ago the Food and Drug Administration was tasked with finalizing standards for gluten free labeling. It is time for that to change.
Jules Shepard and John Forberger are taking action and they are calling on us for support. They have organized a Gluten Free Food Labeling Summit to be held May 4th in Washington DC and the event will feature the world’s largest gluten-free cake!
You can help by visiting the web site, 1in133.org. There you can read more about what is happening. Then look for the green rectangle near the top right side of the page and click on “You Supporting This” (or simply click that link).
There are four ways you can take action:
- Donate (suggested donation is $11.33 for each gluten free family member)
- Sign the Petition (easy peasy)
- Send a Letter to the FDA (It’s all automated. You can edit the letter if you wish.)
- Spread the Word
In addition you can join the Facebook causes page and if you Tweet about this be sure to include @1in133 and #1in133.
I have taken action, and I hope you will too.
Gluten-Free Labeling: Time for Action originally appeared on The Gluten-Free Homemaker on March 31, 2011.


